


Breakeven

by macchajun



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macchajun/pseuds/macchajun
Summary: Everyone told him that he had already passed away, that he just has to accept his death, that maybe he was too shocked that he was only imagining him. But everyone was wrong.Sho is standing right there next to his body on the bed, smiling warmly at Jun.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Kudos: 9





	Breakeven

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-ed but enjoy

Everyone told him that he had already passed away, that he just has to accept his death, that maybe he was too shocked that he was only imagining him. But everyone was wrong. 

Sho is standing right there next to his body on the bed, smiling warmly at Jun. 

"He's there, right there" he kept telling them and pointing at Sho who's still smiling warmly at him. But no one was able to see him, instead they told him to get some rest. He also heard someone's whisper saying that Jun has gone mad. But they're wrong, they're all wrong. 

Jun kept insisting that Sho was there, and he's looking at him, but everyone kept smiling apologetically while trying to calm him down. Sho didn't move a single bit and just watched Jun and others argue. Jun wondered why everyone couldn't see him like he does.

Before he knew it, he was dragged back to his apartment by Ohno. He kept telling Ohno that Sho was really there and he's not dead, but Ohno kept nodding and smiling as if he doesn't believe a single word he said. 

"You don't believe me?" he asked once he gets tired of explaining. But Ohno just hummed, and didn't reply at all. Jun must've sounded crazy to him, but he knew what he saw at the hospital room is real, he knew it. It wasn't some kind of hallucination, or imagination, he can tell that Sho was there, alive. 

"For now get some rest, okay?" Ohno said a few minutes later with a soft voice, he looked at Jun before paying attention to the road again. Jun sighed, he knew no one would ever believe this. 

-

"Take care, get plenty of rest, okay?" Ohno said again once Jun opened the car's door. He just nodded before he got out of the car and went straight to his apartment door without looking back at Ohno. 

He still doesn't believe Sho has passed away, he saw the proof himself that he was still there, looking perfectly handsome like he always does. They're all crazy thinking that he was already gone, they don't know anything at all, they know no better than him yet they were acting like they knew it all, and he hates it. 

Sho will be sad if they keep saying that he's already gone, and Jun is trying to prove otherwise. 

He opened his apartment door and entered the room, it was a little chilly than it usually is, but he shrugged it off. He shivered while taking off his coat and put it on the couch instead. He looked around, but he didn't find Sho anywhere inside. Maybe he was going somewhere else first before going home, he thought. He shrugged and decided to cook dinner instead, without forgetting to make one for Sho too.

He puts the pasta on both of the plates, then he brought the plates to the dining table. He then noticed Sho was standing next to their TV.

Jun greeted him, "Welcome home" 

"I'm back" Sho replied while walking towards the dining table. He sat down across Jun who was already eating his own pasta. Jun didn't look sad at all, nor did he feel sad today, he's happy that Sho is still there with him, despite everyone saying that he's gone already. 

But Sho didn't eat his food like he usually does. Normally when Jun cooked him food he'll eat it right away, sometimes even forgetting to say his thanks. 

"Why aren't you eating?" he frowned.

"I lost my appetite" Sho shyly said, while scratching his neck. 

"You never do" and Jun's right, Sho would never reject a food, besides he has a big appetite. 

"But I do now, Jun" Sho reached for Jun's hand and squeezed it. It's cold, Sho's hand was cold, unusual. Jun rubbed his hand with his thumb, he frowned before dropping his fork from his other hand. 

"I don't believe you're dead, you're here with me right now, aren't you?" he said, staring at his eyes to find the answers of unspoken questions. He wanted to clear it up to other people. He wanted to hear it from the person himself that he is, in fact, still alive. 

But Sho smiled instead, then he stood up from his chair and hugged him. Jun appreciated it, he loves his hug. It warms him, even though he's cold. 

"They don't understand, Jun, only you do" and Jun believed so. He hugged him back and stroke his hair. Besides his cold body and his lost appetite, everything stays the same, so he smiled along with that thought. 

That night, Jun fell asleep next to Sho who kept stroking his hair and keeping him close. He wasn't feeling sad at all, he knew Sho's still there and the others are blind enough to not see him. He slept, knowing Sho will be there next to him when he wakes up the next morning. 

Jun was already in a deep slumber when Sho kissed his forehead then disappeared into the night. 

-

The next morning he woke up, he was surprised to find Sho's part of the bed was empty. He must've woken up before him, he thought. He rubbed his eyes and Sho's still not there in their bedroom. He yawned before he stood up and walked outside to find Sho. 

"Good morning" when he found Sho he grinned and sat down next to Sho who's watching the TV. He frowned when he saw what he's watching. 

_'Sakurai-san was someone who never gives up, he'll do his best to face his problems. He's a very good caster, the way he approaches his audience was something else. He was very kind to everyone here, and it's such a waste we lost such a good person. He was too young, I'm sorry for him. May you rest in peace, Sakurai-san'_

Sho smiled weakly, while still watching the TV. It was news zero, and they were breaking the news to the whole world that Sho has died. Jun furiously took the remote away from Sho and turned the tv off. He hugged him tightly.

"That's not true, I can't believe Udo-san said something like that" he said, disappointed. Then he could hear Sho chuckled before he rubbed Jun's back. 

"Let her be. Like I said, they don't understand" 

"But why only me that understands?"

Sho stopped, before pushing Jun away from him slowly then cupped both of his cheek with his hands. 

"You'll know, when the time is right" Jun looked at him with his big eyes, confused, he doesn't know what he's talking about. But when he saw him smiled, he decided to let it go and enjoy what's in front of him right now.

He doesn't care about what he meant. Besides, it'll be okay as long as he's with him. 

He snuggled with him the whole day, because he happened to have a week off from his work. He wasn't sure how or why he has a full week off, but he decided to enjoy it otherwise. It's also an advantage for him so he can stay with Sho as long as he wants without any distraction. 

-

Seven days have passed since Sho's _death,_ but Jun spent it by going with Sho to places, and he couldn't feel more happier. 

On the second day, they went to a cafe to eat Jun's favorite mont blanc. _For two people_ , he said, but the waitress looked at him weirdly before she led him to his table. When Jun asked Sho what he wanted to eat, he shook his head and told him again that he lost his appetite. Again, the waitress was looking at him as if he was crazy but decided to stay quiet about it.

 _They don't understand, only I do._ Is what he always thought. 

The fifth day, they went to the cinemas to watch a romance movie that Jun has been waiting to watch for months. _Two tickets please_ , he said, but again the ticket counter attendant looked at him weirdly, seeing him talking to no one beside him. But she decided to stay quiet about it and gave him the tickets instead. 

When they finished the movie, he was discussing about the movie with him when they walked out of the cinema. People around him looked at him in confusion, maybe he was crazy they thought. But Jun couldn't care less, he's with his beloved partner after all. 

_They don't understand._

Today, the seventh day, they were going to have a picnic at the park. Jun has packed all the lunch he has prepared into a basket that Sho gave him once. Then he went to his bedroom to change his clothes to a more fitting one. While changing his clothes, he coughed and blood came out. 

He rushed to get tissue and wiped his hand and his mouth. He probably needs to drink more water. He didn't cough afterwards, so he shrugged it off and drank more water instead. He saw Sho who was just wearing his coat before he holds his hand. 

"Let's go"

The park was quite empty that day, there were only elder couple, and a few mothers who looked after their children who were playing on the playground. But besides that, the park were pretty much empty and the weather was really nice. It's the perfect time to have a picnic, he thought. 

He put a blanket on the grass before sitting down it and started to open each box of meal he has made. Despite knowing Sho has lost his appetite through the week, he still cooks his portion and gave it to him. Maybe he'll eat it, just maybe. 

"Thank you for the food" Sho said, even though he didn't eat it, followed by his own "Thank you for the food" 

He started eating it, but soon enough he felt full and couldn't finish the whole meal. Sho was pouring a glass of water for him, when he decided to stop eating and closed the container. 

"Somehow I'm not that hungry even though I was starving this morning" he muttered. Sho chuckled, before giving him a glass of water.

"Perhaps, your stomach changed its mind" Sho teased, Jun chuckled while playfully slapping his hand. 

Although he couldn't finish his food, he spent the rest of the day talking with Sho about almost everything. During the day, he heard people whispered something like _Maybe he's crazy. I think he might have drank some pills. Perhaps he needs more sleep. Someone needs to get this person to the hospital, fast._

But he didn't care at all. After all, what's important is what's in front of him and not what other people said. As long as he and Sho are together then it's fine. He believed so, and will continue doing that. 

_Only I do._

They went home around six, after going to other places first like the bookstore l, etc. They always gave him that weird look, and he always ignored him. He doesn't care, how many times does he have to emphasize that. 

Jun was preparing to take a quick shower before snuggling next to Sho when Sho disappeared. He thought it was weird, because he only disappeared when Jun's sleeping, he knew this on the third day. But he shrugged it off, and decided to shower instead, knowing Sho will be back when he's finished. 

And he did. But this time, when he hugged him, he was warm again. Jun looked at him happily and kissed him on the cheek. He cheered because he can feel his warmth again, and Sho grinned widely.

They watched the TV while cuddling again that night. The room was filled with silence but it was a comfortable one. He can hear Sho's breathing on top of his head, and his heartbeat next to his ear. It made him felt very calm and sleepy. 

Jun was sleeping when Sho suddenly moved his head away and stood up. Jun opened his eyes and looked up at him, confused, when suddenly Sho offered his hand.

"Let's go"

Jun stood up too, and raised one of his eyebrows. "To where?"

"To a place where only you and me can understand" Sho smiled, still offering his hands. He'll go everywhere Sho goes, that is what he has intended ever since the beginning. Wherever the place Sho wants to go, even if it's somewhere far away or near. Even if it's a place where no one's ever heard of, or a weird place. He'll go for sure. 

Yes, his words were hard to understand, but he was rest assured by his warm smile and his hand waiting for him to take. He looked back at him who's still looking at him eagerly. 

Jun smiled and took his hand. "Let's go" 

-

_"He passed away a week after his lover died"_

_"I heard he died while he was asleep, may he rest in peace"_

_"The doctor said he had a disease, and maybe that was one of the factors he died"_

_"He was such a kind person and a diligent worker, we lost another good person today"_

_"Such a shame, they both were still young"_

_He put a bouquet of flowers on their graves. Just like when they're alive, their graves are side by side, inseparable. He touched the soil before he said his prayers. Ohno let his teardrops fell on to the soil._

_"Rest in peace, Sho-chan, Jun-kun, now you'll be together forever"_

**Author's Note:**

> Ooffffffffff this came out after I remembered about haha to kuraseba. and the ending of this story also took the movie's ending concept which I thought was really nice and very heartwarming. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading it


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